Season 4 Genesis 39:19-23 (Joyelle Lee)
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GEN 39:19-23
“When his master heard the story his wife told him, saying, “This is how your slave treated me,” he burned with anger. 20 Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined.
But while Joseph was there in the prison, 21 the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. 22 So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. 23 The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care, because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.
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wait… Joseph said NOTHING to DEFEND himself under FALSE ACCUSATION!?
“DEFENSIVENESS”= “A concern with guarding against a real or imagined threat of criticism &/or action, injury to one’s ego, &/or exposure to one’s shortcomings.”
“To be defensive is to react with a war mentality — to a non-war issue. “
(Very sensitive to comments/constructive criticism.)
(To deny or refute them)
defensiveness is a coping mechanism that tells you it’ll keep you safe from something that could potentially cause you anxiety &/or FEAR
Defensiveness is ROOTED in fear!
Fear= reality minus God
Faith= reality plus God
Joseph was facing REALITY plus… God!
Joseph was SCARED.
But Joseph didn’t FEAR.
(He stopped asking God, “why am I going through this, and started asking God, “What are you preparing me for?”)
⁃ The feeling of Scared- is an emotion
⁃ The spirit of Fear= is a demon
FAITH—Causes me to ask: what will He do?
FEAR— Causes me to ask: what will I do? (Become defensive)
2 Tim 1:7
“God has not given you a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind?”
1 cor 4:3
“As for me, it matter very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority— I don’t even trust my own judgement on this point.”
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“WITH”- is the remedy to fear (my orphan-defensiveness)
Joshua 1:9
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is WITH you wherever you go.”
Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am WITH you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+31%3A6&version=ESV)
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes WITH you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Psalm 23:4 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23%3A4&version=ESV)
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are WITH me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Matt 1:23
Immanuel” (which means God WITH us).
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• Joseph KNEW God was WITH him… therefore, he didn’t need to DEFEND himself!
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Joseph was stripped of his cloak—
maybe it was:
DEFENSIVENESS that was stripped that day off him by Zule!
Defensiveness— is a self-protective COVERING!
There’s always stripping involved in RESTORATION (from the pit to the palace)
Video (bible nerd page)
Jesus didn’t want to go to the cross (please 3x )
BUT HE DID IT ANYWAY!
This wasn’t easy for Joseph— he’s most likely PLEADING w/ the Father to rescue him!!
BUT instead of DEFENDING himself against man to keep himself out of prison … he knew the WITH-GOD had a plan greater than his!!!
AND ….HE DID IT ANYWAYS!!
Luke 22:42
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me— yet NOT my will, but yours be done.”
Heb 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off (Joseph’s cloak) everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us RUN (Joseph ran) with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him (the WITH-GOD) he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God”
1 Peter 2:23
“He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.”
Matt 27:13-14
“12 But when the leading priests and the elders made their accusations against him, Jesus remained silent. 13 “Don’t you hear all these charges they are bringing against you?” Pilate demanded. 14 But Jesus made no response to any of the charges, much to the governor’s surprise.”
Jesus KNEW this was the will of the Father.
No HUMAN could change the course of His life!
Jesus had already taken it up with the Father — not man!
——
it’s LESS about ME being understood—
And MORE about him/her being heard.
————
When I’m feeling DEFENSIVE, it’s because I’m feeling OFFENDED! (A FENCE)
RED FLAG
We feel someone has:
1. Judged
2. Criticized me
…… and I want to change their opinion.
…..and I want to change their mind.
have difficulty with someone having an opinion about us that we DONT LIKE!
Heard God whisper:
⁃ “Do you DEFEND ME, joy, as much as you find the need to defend YOURSELF? ~ God
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Childhood cause:
(the WHY behind the WHAT)
Defensiveness becomes an ENGRAINED BEHAVIOR often from childhood!
Authoritarian homes often forced us to defend ourselves -
mistakes were SHAMEFUL
DID YOU KNOW…
DEFENSIVENESS is a FRUIT of codependency!
Ask yourself:
How do I respond when I’ve been wrongly accused?
How do I respond when I’ve been misunderstood?
What is my KNEE JERK REACTION?
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(LISTENING;)
“Defensiveness is the arch enemy of listening (& intimacy!”)
Defensiveness is a demonic BARRIER TO INTIMACY
We can’t listen and defend ourselves simultaneously.
Dialogue vs debate
Dialogue— LISTENING w/the intent of hearing & meeting their heart.
Debate - you’re “listening” to “crush” / debunk the theory of what the other person is expressing.
“I AM RIGHT… and YOU ARE WRONG!”
(If I always have a need to be RIGHT; I’ll end up kicking that person RIGHT out the door!)
BUT….
I MUST Become an: “ATHLETIC LISTENER!!”
MARY-MARTHA (Luke 10)
The only way to be An “athletic listener” is by sitting at the feet of Jesus (Mary vs Martha)
Mary didn’t DEFEND herself when Martha spoke against her!!
JESUS DID!!! (“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”) Luke 10:42
Mary was too busy being enthralled with the WITHNESS of Jesus to get sidetracked into needing to defend herself!!!
( listen —>> Silent) = same letters!
This is a bridge/doorway to intimacy!!!
Luke 8:18
“ so be careful how you LISTEN, for whoever has (a teachable heart) to him, more understanding will be given— and whoever does not, even what he/she thinks he has will be taken away from him.”
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We defend ourselves as if we are defending ourselves to that childhood bully!
Moses defended his people when he killed the Egyptian.
It wasn’t the Egyptian he was killing. It was that childhood abuser
The ignored parent
The teacher
The spouse…
When we act from a place of defensiveness…
"We mix the past up with the present, which leads us to potentially misperceive what's happening in the here and now"
Past experiences of being :
invalidated,
dismissed,
criticized
MISUNDERSTOOD (big one!!)
these INFLUENCE my need to defend myself.
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(THE COURTROOM:)
BUT Jesus let His Father DEFEND His case!
Jer 51:36
“This is what the LORD says to Jerusalem: “I will be your lawyer to plead your case, and I will avenge you….”
Social work courtroom:
the lawyer represented my client
My client didn’t have to argue, prove, convince
My client let her attorney do all the work!
I SHARED ON THE STAND in her defense!!
Jesus didn’t waste His time trying to prove his credibility to his critics.
He trusted His father to settle His cases!
GOD HAS NEVER LOST A CASE!
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Conclusion …
“Jesus made Himself of no reputation.”
Phil 2:7
(Jesus didn’t worry about His reputation!)
“Don’t worry about people God has removed from your life. He heard conversations you didn’t. Saw things you couldn’t. And made moves you wouldn’t.” ~Toby Mac
Isaiah 54:17
“But in that coming day no weapon formed against you, will prevail. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; your vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!”
God didn’t say the weapon WONT BE FORMED AGAINST YOU;
He said it WON’T prevail!— when we let Him